This will change the way you date.
Let’s just imagine this scenario for a moment:
You’re in the early days with a new guy you’re seeing, everything is going pretty well, and you’re really excited to see where it’s all going to go. Out of nowhere, around date three, he makes a mistake. You guys had plans but he totally bailed. Or, he booty calls you when you were really expecting more from him. Whatever situation, he somehow made you feel less than you deserve. Know the feeling?
Well, in this crazy modern dating world we all live in… this shit happens often. So many men have this newfound attitude of women being “disposable” – and I blame that on our new culture of online dating. There are always so many options! How can you stand out? What do you do when a guy just isn’t showing you the interest that you want and deserve?
Be kind in your tone and attitude, but be ruthless in your actions.
What does that mean exactly? Well, think about what you WANT to reply to the guy who bails on you last minute over text. Think about what you WANT to say to the guy who takes 4 days to reply to your text. You’re angry, right? You were really expecting more from him, and you want to make it clear to him that you don’t stand for that BS.
The problem with showing him that you really care, and that you’re angry, is that you give him all of the power when you do so. It is a MAJOR turn off for men to see a woman get frustrated and passive aggressive over something that “isn’t really a big deal” in his eyes. Dating is all about attraction, and it is not attractive to be forceful and mean to a new guy because he hasn’t met your standards. The trick that will make you look desirable and probably get him to start chasing you again is to be kind in how you speak, and stern in your actions. What I mean by this is to politely respond to his fuck up, but meet your standards when taking actions. Act like he hasn’t really affected you much and you have better things to do than to feel angry. Let’s put this into examples.
The guy you’re starting to date pulls the “I just want to have sex with you and not get to know you, plus I don’t respect your time and I’m cancelling dinner” card. You are hurt and you want to tell him he can’t pull this shit with you. This is how the text exchange goes:
Here, you think you’re stating your standards. You’re a woman that deserves respect and you want to prove that to him, right?
Well… no. This kind of attitude towards the new men you’re dating NEVER works. Dating is supposed to be fun and playful, not intense and complicated. After reading your reply, this guy will most likely be turned off and think “I do not want to deal with a girl like this”.
So, what do you reply instead? What kind of text can you send to get him to change his mind about you? How can you show your standards without freaking him out?
Just like this:
You gain all the control when you do this. Your tone screams “I don’t mind, this doesn’t make me hate you and it doesn’t make you a bad person. It just means I might not be that into you anymore.”
Tone can show him how much power he has over you. Tone can also show him how much power you have over him. Dating is a game. As much as you want to be totally honest and open about your feelings, to create desire and attraction with a new man you need to maintain mystery. Show your worth and keep the upper hand.
Trying to force a man to respect you will never make him respect you and treat you as you’d like.
You have standards, you have class, and you put yourself first. You are positive and fun to be around. You don’t get too invested when he isn’t. The key to relationships is mutual investment.
And when he fucks you over, you stay sweet and warm and kind. Because you are. If he’s the right one, he’ll prove it to you. If he’s the wrong one, he’ll prove it to you.
Trust the process and don’t get too impatient. You got this girl.